154. Pep Talk: Stop Avoiding and Start Making Progress
Sometimes the smallest tasks create the biggest mental weight. That pile of papers on your desk, the drawer you’ve been meaning to organize, the business process that needs updating – they sit there, taking up space in your mind every single day. The energy you spend thinking about these undone tasks often exceeds the energy required to actually complete them.
In this pep talk episode, I share a simple four-step process for moving past avoidance and procrastination to finally tackle those lingering tasks. Using my own closet overhaul as a real-world example, I walk through exactly how I shift from endless postponement to actual completion. The same process works for personal projects and business tasks that keep getting bumped to next week’s to-do list.
The key insight that makes all the difference? Focusing on how I’ll feel after a task is done rather than the resistance I feel right now. I call this the "Now and Later" approach, and it’s a game-changer for breaking the cycle of putting things off. I explain why emotions aren’t as permanent as they feel in the moment and how I use that understanding to get into action with less force and more ease.
If you've been thinking about working with me one-on-one, be sure to get on the private coaching waitlist! Click here to learn more about Design to Thrive and secure your spot to be the first to know when availability opens up.
What You’ll Discover from this Episode:
Why asking a specific question is the essential first step before taking action.
How to identify the real reasons you’re avoiding a task, often rooted in emotional discomfort.
The three components of making a strong decision that actually leads to completion.
Why breaking projects into smaller chunks makes them much more approachable.
How focusing on "later feelings" instead of "now feelings" dissolves procrastination.
Why positive emotions improve outcomes when taking action.
How repeated planning and list-making can become procrastination in disguise.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
If you love what you’re learning on the show, and want to learn how I can support you, click here to learn more about coaching.
Click here for the latest workshops and free resources.
Follow me on Instagram!
Sign up to my Monday Mindset email list to get bite-sized insights on topics that you can use to set your week up for success!
Get my free Life & Business Vision Journal!
Access the free Get It Done Daily Planner!
150. Build Momentum through Strong Decisions (CEO Summer School)
Book a strategy session to work 1:1 with me!
Full Episode Transcript:
Hey designer, you're listening to episode 154. In this pep talk style episode, I'm going to be sharing a simple workaround for avoidance, procrastination, and how to do those things that you say you want to do, but just aren't getting done. I'll walk you through how I'm using exactly what I outline in this episode for myself with a real-time example that, of course, is going to blend a little bit of planning, a little bit of mindset, and also address the discomfort we feel when we're stuck and not moving forward, using a tip that comes straight from the candy store. You'll know what I mean later. You'll be able to take what you're hearing and put it into action this week so you can say, "Check, and done."
Welcome to The Interior Design Business CEO, the only show for designers who are ready to confidently run and grow their businesses without the stress and anxiety. If you're ready to develop a bigger vision for your interior design business, free up your time, and streamline your days for productivity and profit, you're in the right place.
I'm Desi Creswell, an award-winning interior designer and certified life and business coach. I help interior designers just like you stop feeling overwhelmed so they can build profitable businesses they love to run. Are you ready to confidently lead your business, clients, and projects? Let's go.
Hello designer, welcome back to the podcast. Glad to be here, glad to be at home recently. After a fun, fun summer filled with so many weekends at the cabin, it has felt great. We've had a few weekends now at home where we can settle in, the kids can have friends over, I can take care of things that I didn't do over my summer break that I had really hoped to do.
And if you listened to the last episode, I shared some of my wins and fails from my summer slowdown. And although it was an incredible summer, we had, like I said, a lot of fun. It was a very busy summer. And my plans didn't go quite according to plan, as is normal with plans. And I had quite a few personal projects that I had hoped to get to, but just didn't over the summer months. So, now I'm finding myself digging into some of those and really enjoying having that extra space.
That really brings me to today's pep talk topic. And that is, how do you get yourself moving with doing those things that in theory you want to do, but can't seem to get yourself over the hump and get into action?
Maybe it's that thing you keep putting on your to-do list, and then it gets moved to the to-do list next week, and then the week after that, and then the week after that. Or maybe it's something you're talking a lot about doing, but then you don't get it done. Maybe it's that thing that you are frequently thinking about doing, and then when it comes time to do it, you talk yourself out of it. Maybe you justify, you come up with some brilliant excuses, you allow yourself to be distracted by things that you would probably not consciously choose, or are maybe abiding by other people's priorities. I think you get the idea.
Now, one of the things that I had planned to do over the summer was to complete a sorting and sifting of my closet. I wanted to do an entire overhaul. And now that I have some more space to actually do it, because what I realized was trying to do this over the summer, maybe wasn't as realistic as I thought. But now that I have this space, I can see how much resistance I have to this task and how I've been kind of kicking the can down the road on it. And I realized this, and so I had decided I'm going to get it started.
And I'm going to be talking about how to get over this internal hump of putting things off and not getting around to what you really want to be doing through the example of my closet. But I also want you to know that this totally applies to your business. It's the same process I use with things in my business. And one of the reasons I want to share it with more of a personal example is I do think it can be helpful to consider these types of situations with alternative perspectives and examples that are a little bit different than you would initially go to on a business podcast, because it can help access parts of you and parts of your understanding in a different way.
And sometimes these things that we've been meaning to do and then don't do, we can have a lot of shame or judgment and blame around ourselves with it and it feels kind of heavy or like something we want to not even want to look at. And so it can be helpful to look at something that feels a little bit lighter, much less low stakes, and get the insights that way.
I'm going to share four really simple, easy ways to give yourself this workaround into getting things done. And I want you to really focus on the last one that I'm going to talk about, so make sure you listen through.
So the very first thing is that before you even decide to jump into action, like if you can't strong arm yourself into it, for sure, take a pause. And just ask yourself, "Do I actually want to do this?" Not "want to do it" as in, "Do I feel like doing it in this moment?" but "Do I see value in doing this in terms of my current priorities and goals?" Do I find it important, even though maybe it's not urgent? And get clear on that first. Because if there's something you're avoiding or procrastinating on, if you're not bought into it, you're just not going to do it. I mean, let's be real, and then you can stop pretending you're going to do it and just set it aside.
So, with my closet example, this was something where I never felt like I wanted to really go clean out my closet. And it's something that impacts me every single day. Every time I walk into my closet, which is multiple times per day, I think about how I haven't done anything with the closet. And then when I'm in there, the drawers that I open that are slightly too full and have the workout tops that I no longer wear, they are a pain to sort through to get to what I really want. And then on top of it, I know I need to refresh some things, and then I've been finding myself needing to pull them out or have that type of item, and I don't have them. And that is a huge pain. Just even saying that, I'm remembering, "Oh yeah, I definitely want to do this. This is very important to me." It's staying on the list.
Okay. So think about for you, as I walk through these steps and give you some of my examples, what is something you've been putting off, okay? And then do the first step of saying, "Is this something that should remain on my list of important things to be accomplished?"
The next thing, once you decide, "Yes, this definitely should stay on my priorities list," then you want to get clear on why you don't want to do it. We want to know what the truth is. We can say we want to do it, but our actions are showing we don't want to do it, and we need to know what the story is in between. What's the gap that's happening here? That's what we want to solve through. And the awareness piece is always going to be the first step.
So maybe your brain's offering up the story of this is going to be hard, it's going to take too much time, it's going to take a lot of time. So many stories about time. Or maybe there's the emotional discomfort. So what comes up for you when you think about the task or project? Maybe it's some insecurity, it's some doubt, it's maybe defeat, like you need to try a different strategy because one didn't work, and so you're already telling yourself, "Well, this probably isn't going to work either." Which, of course, when you're telling yourself, it makes complete sense that you wouldn't be doing the thing. And just seeing it and naming it for yourself can help clear that path forward.
With my closet, what I could clearly see was I just wanted to avoid decision-making. Decision-making, I've talked about a ton on this podcast. And it can be uncomfortable. It's either in or it's out. And when you avoid a decision, you are at least delaying the discomfort of drawing the line in the sand. So, I could see, "Oh yeah, I just don't want to make any decisions," and then I can think about, "Well, what would be some solutions to how I'm going to tackle this so that it feels a little bit more approachable?" Like, there is a pile where I can hold on to it for maybe a month, and if I decide I don't want it, then that's when it goes.
Okay. So then the next thing you need to do is make a strong decision. I talked about strong decisions in episode 150. So often when we say we're going to do something or we want to do something, we have no idea what the plan is, and we're not fully committed to that plan.
So you have to decide, when are you doing this thing? What are you doing exactly? And how are you going to do it? Because if you don't figure that out, it's probably not going to happen because you're going to be in that space of, "I hope this gets done." That was very much what was going on with my closet over the summer. And the thinking was, "I hope I can find time to do this, and I hope it happens." But hoping is not a planning strategy. It's just wishful thinking.
So the other piece of this, too, with making that strong decision and thinking about the when, what, and how, is if you think it would be helpful, give yourself a backup plan. So maybe you're deciding to do something this week, and you're going to do it at this time or this day, and you also know that there's multiple things going on in a project, and you might need to do an additional site visit. But you still want to stay committed to your strong decision. So that's where you can have a backup plan of, "All right, if this doesn't happen, then it will happen at this time, or if this obstacle arises, this is how I'm going to solve for it."
Now, a quick note here. Make sure that in making these strong decisions and creating plans, you are not giving yourself the false sense of productivity and moving forward from repeated list-making, repeated planning, and repeated talking about the thing. Because when you make the list, you put it on your calendar, you tell everyone you're doing it, you have kind of this feeling of, "Yes, it's happening."
And that's true, that's an essential part of the step of making a strong decision. And we want to make sure that we're not consistently making a list and planning it out and thinking that's actually getting us closer. So there is this subtle distinction of we're going to have a plan, we're going to have a backup plan, and we're also not going to allow ourselves to get stuck in procrastination disguised as productivity.
To give you an example from my closet project, like I said, I was wanting to avoid decisions. I was definitely having some storylines around, "This is going to take so much time, too." So I took a step back in terms of how am I going to actually make this happen? And I broke it down so that way it was super, super simple and easy. And I didn't have to have three hours ahead of me of free time.
And I'll do this with projects that I'm implementing in my business. It's one of the things that I teach in To-Do to Done, which is a program I ran last year. I work with my clients in terms of planning their days this way. But we want to break things down so that they're simple, they're doable, and you're not counting on having huge, huge, uninterrupted swaths of time in order to accomplish something.
So with the closet, I was going basically by sets of drawers, and then there were sections of hangers that I was looking at, and categories of clothes that I was looking at. And it just made it so much more approachable. So just so you all know, today I'm trying on my jeans, which I have a lot of resistance to, but I know it's going to be great once it's done.
Which brings me back to the last piece of this. And I really do think this one is key in terms of getting yourself in motion. And this one is, be more focused on the later feeling than the now feeling. Our brains are really good at assessing our current state of being, our emotional state that we're in right now, as a permanent state of being. And we basically forget that our emotions are fluid.
Just because we feel burdened or bogged down now doesn't mean we're going to feel that way in a little bit. Just because we feel on top of the world doesn't mean we're going to feel that way in a little bit. Our emotions can be fluid, and they can change quite quickly. But when we're in these avoidance procrastination cycles, we are overly focused on the negative emotion we're experiencing in the present and don't at all give the airtime to how amazing it's going to feel in the future when this thing is done.
And the other thing that I think is really important to remember here is often, even if procrastination can kind of sneakily feel good or like relief because you're avoiding the thing for at least a little while, there is often a negative emotional backlash that you'll create for yourself as you put something off that you knew you're breaking a commitment to yourself. And that does not feel good either.
So we just want to be honest, it's discomfort either way. And one of those types of discomfort is going to help you move forward; one of them is going to just keep you spinning in the same spot. So just because you feel resistance, dread, maybe antsy, maybe anxiety in this moment, that doesn't mean you're going to feel that way later. And I really encourage you to notice when you're having these experiences and pause and remind yourself that you will not feel that way forever. Gosh, could that be a lesson for every difficult thing, not just a task you're trying to get off your to-do list.
What you're forgetting though, is that you're probably going to feel great when this thing is in progress. Oh my gosh, think about just taking that first step, how amazing that feels. Or when it's complete. So what I really want you to remember here is feelings are fluid, they're not final.
So don't buy into when you're looking at your list and going, "I have to do this thing, and I don't want to do it, and I feel awful." Remember, you have a way out of that. So instead of allowing yourself to swirl in the unpleasant experience of anticipating the thing you've been putting off, you need to put yourself in a future state of mind. That's the now feeling.
This is something I have to do a lot in my business when I'm thinking of doing something that feels vulnerable, a stretch, and it definitely comes up anytime my assistant wants me to review something, and I don't feel like doing details. And in my closet, I've got those hang-ups I've already told you about. I'm going to cultivate that later feeling for myself through picturing my future self. I'm going to picture myself opening those drawers with ease, seeing exactly what I need to find in there, bringing things off the hangers with the clarity of what I want to wear, and how much more simple decisions will be getting dressed when I have what I need. I am imagining how great it's going to feel when the thing is done.
For you, those emotions might be something like proud or accomplished. Maybe there is a little bit of relief, or you feel grounded in, "Yeah, this is behind me and now I can move forward." For me, that one feels a lot like, "Okay, I can finally move on with my life." It's got some lightness to it. Of course, you don't have to wait for the thing to be done to actually experience these emotions because we can create that for ourselves coming from our thoughts. The way that I want you to remember this one, and maybe even you can put it on a Post-it by your desk so you can remember it, is now and later feelings.
In the intro, I mentioned a candy store. And when we were coming back this summer from a swim meet, we stopped at Minnesota's largest candy store. And let me tell you, it was really big. And there were all of these candies that I had not seen in a very long time, including Now and Later. I don't know who remembers that. I feel like I have not seen that at Target or wherever we tend to get some candy.
So, picture those square Now and Laters. They're like a Starburst, but the square is bigger. And remember that candy, the Now and Later. I am not going to feel how I feel now forever, and I can generate the feelings that I want to feel later about this task right now. And I'm going to focus on how amazing it's going to be to have this thing done and not allow myself to swirl in whatever it is that my brain's telling me I can't get out of, and that is so awful in the present.
I cannot tell you how motivating it is to take something that you've been dragging around like a ball and chain and go, "All right, I'm going to focus on the later. How incredible this is going to feel, how accomplished I'm going to feel." And I'm going to remember that now, whatever I'm feeling, it's just temporary. You're going to be able to get so much more done with so much more ease and do it more joyfully instead of having to get to that point where you have to sort of shove yourself over the edge and force yourself into action.
And the beautiful part about this, too, is that when we take action from a positive state of mind, we get better outcomes. With the way that the brain works, when we have positive emotion fueling our actions, we just take higher-quality action. It is true. And so not only do you get to feel better, you're going to do better too.
To give you a quick recap, this is how it goes. Before you do anything, ask yourself, "Do I actually find this important and do I see why it's important to me?" If you don't, forget it. Second is get clear on why you don't want to do the thing and be honest with yourself. Be radically honest. Then you're going to make a strong decision about what, when, and how you are going to get this thing off your list. And then the fourth thing, which is, I really think the most important thing for you to tune into here, is focus on the now and later feelings and tapping into the later more than anything else.
If this episode hit home, I definitely want you to go back in the feed and listen to episode 35. It's called "The Later Habit." It is a listener favorite. And when I say the later habit, it's as in, "I'll do it later." Because we often forget to question our assumptions that it's going to be easier to do it later, or we're going to actually want to do it later, as a way to delay our actions. And typically, spoiler alert, you don't feel like doing it later. Definitely talking to my sixth grader about that one as we continue to navigate more and more homework.
So my homework for you right now is to decide what is a simple, small task. I think starting small is the best way to practice this, that you can use this episode for to get that thing done this week. Get it crossed off the list and get it off your mind.
I'm going to be back next week with a brand new episode, and in the meantime, I would so appreciate it if you would subscribe to the show and write a review or share it with a friend. All three of those things really help me get this podcast out to the designers who need it.
And as a reminder, I still have a few one-on-one strategy sessions available that you can book through desicreswell.com/resources. And that is where we can take whatever it is that you are struggling with and do a deep dive into that particular issue. We get the coaching started before we even meet when I customize prompts for you to get the pot stirred, as I sometimes say, and bring what really needs to be addressed to the surface. And then we meet on Zoom where you have my undivided attention, and we can really focus on you and what your business needs. And then, of course, if there's anything additional that you need for support, I'm able to provide that following our call.
I'd love to connect with you either through the podcast by leaving that rating and review or by hopefully talking to you live through a strategy session. And as always, I'm wishing you a beautiful week.
Thanks for joining me for this week's episode of The Interior Design Business CEO. If you want more tips, tools and strategies visit DesiCreswell.com, where you’ll get immediate access to a variety of free resources to help you take what you learn on the podcast and put it into action. And if you love what you’re hearing, be sure to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts to ensure you never miss an episode. I’ll talk to you next week.
Welcome to The Interior Design Business CEO, the only show for designers who are ready to confidently run and grow their businesses without the stress and anxiety. If you're ready to develop a bigger vision for your interior design business, free up your time, and streamline your days for productivity and profit, you're in the right place.
I'm Desi Creswell, an award-winning interior designer and certified life and business coach. I help interior designers just like you stop feeling overwhelmed so they can build profitable businesses they love to run. Are you ready to confidently lead your business, clients, and projects? Let's go.
Hello designer, welcome back to the podcast. Glad to be here, glad to be at home recently. After a fun, fun summer filled with so many weekends at the cabin, it has felt great. We've had a few weekends now at home where we can settle in, the kids can have friends over, I can take care of things that I didn't do over my summer break that I had really hoped to do.
And if you listened to the last episode, I shared some of my wins and fails from my summer slowdown. And although it was an incredible summer, we had, like I said, a lot of fun. It was a very busy summer. And my plans didn't go quite according to plan, as is normal with plans. And I had quite a few personal projects that I had hoped to get to, but just didn't over the summer months. So, now I'm finding myself digging into some of those and really enjoying having that extra space.
That really brings me to today's pep talk topic. And that is, how do you get yourself moving with doing those things that in theory you want to do, but can't seem to get yourself over the hump and get into action?
Maybe it's that thing you keep putting on your to-do list, and then it gets moved to the to-do list next week, and then the week after that, and then the week after that. Or maybe it's something you're talking a lot about doing, but then you don't get it done. Maybe it's that thing that you are frequently thinking about doing, and then when it comes time to do it, you talk yourself out of it. Maybe you justify, you come up with some brilliant excuses, you allow yourself to be distracted by things that you would probably not consciously choose, or are maybe abiding by other people's priorities. I think you get the idea.
Now, one of the things that I had planned to do over the summer was to complete a sorting and sifting of my closet. I wanted to do an entire overhaul. And now that I have some more space to actually do it, because what I realized was trying to do this over the summer, maybe wasn't as realistic as I thought. But now that I have this space, I can see how much resistance I have to this task and how I've been kind of kicking the can down the road on it. And I realized this, and so I had decided I'm going to get it started.
And I'm going to be talking about how to get over this internal hump of putting things off and not getting around to what you really want to be doing through the example of my closet. But I also want you to know that this totally applies to your business. It's the same process I use with things in my business. And one of the reasons I want to share it with more of a personal example is I do think it can be helpful to consider these types of situations with alternative perspectives and examples that are a little bit different than you would initially go to on a business podcast, because it can help access parts of you and parts of your understanding in a different way.
And sometimes these things that we've been meaning to do and then don't do, we can have a lot of shame or judgment and blame around ourselves with it and it feels kind of heavy or like something we want to not even want to look at. And so it can be helpful to look at something that feels a little bit lighter, much less low stakes, and get the insights that way.
I'm going to share four really simple, easy ways to give yourself this workaround into getting things done. And I want you to really focus on the last one that I'm going to talk about, so make sure you listen through.
So the very first thing is that before you even decide to jump into action, like if you can't strong arm yourself into it, for sure, take a pause. And just ask yourself, "Do I actually want to do this?" Not "want to do it" as in, "Do I feel like doing it in this moment?" but "Do I see value in doing this in terms of my current priorities and goals?" Do I find it important, even though maybe it's not urgent? And get clear on that first. Because if there's something you're avoiding or procrastinating on, if you're not bought into it, you're just not going to do it. I mean, let's be real, and then you can stop pretending you're going to do it and just set it aside.
So, with my closet example, this was something where I never felt like I wanted to really go clean out my closet. And it's something that impacts me every single day. Every time I walk into my closet, which is multiple times per day, I think about how I haven't done anything with the closet. And then when I'm in there, the drawers that I open that are slightly too full and have the workout tops that I no longer wear, they are a pain to sort through to get to what I really want. And then on top of it, I know I need to refresh some things, and then I've been finding myself needing to pull them out or have that type of item, and I don't have them. And that is a huge pain. Just even saying that, I'm remembering, "Oh yeah, I definitely want to do this. This is very important to me." It's staying on the list.
Okay. So think about for you, as I walk through these steps and give you some of my examples, what is something you've been putting off, okay? And then do the first step of saying, "Is this something that should remain on my list of important things to be accomplished?"
The next thing, once you decide, "Yes, this definitely should stay on my priorities list," then you want to get clear on why you don't want to do it. We want to know what the truth is. We can say we want to do it, but our actions are showing we don't want to do it, and we need to know what the story is in between. What's the gap that's happening here? That's what we want to solve through. And the awareness piece is always going to be the first step.
So maybe your brain's offering up the story of this is going to be hard, it's going to take too much time, it's going to take a lot of time. So many stories about time. Or maybe there's the emotional discomfort. So what comes up for you when you think about the task or project? Maybe it's some insecurity, it's some doubt, it's maybe defeat, like you need to try a different strategy because one didn't work, and so you're already telling yourself, "Well, this probably isn't going to work either." Which, of course, when you're telling yourself, it makes complete sense that you wouldn't be doing the thing. And just seeing it and naming it for yourself can help clear that path forward.
With my closet, what I could clearly see was I just wanted to avoid decision-making. Decision-making, I've talked about a ton on this podcast. And it can be uncomfortable. It's either in or it's out. And when you avoid a decision, you are at least delaying the discomfort of drawing the line in the sand. So, I could see, "Oh yeah, I just don't want to make any decisions," and then I can think about, "Well, what would be some solutions to how I'm going to tackle this so that it feels a little bit more approachable?" Like, there is a pile where I can hold on to it for maybe a month, and if I decide I don't want it, then that's when it goes.
Okay. So then the next thing you need to do is make a strong decision. I talked about strong decisions in episode 150. So often when we say we're going to do something or we want to do something, we have no idea what the plan is, and we're not fully committed to that plan.
So you have to decide, when are you doing this thing? What are you doing exactly? And how are you going to do it? Because if you don't figure that out, it's probably not going to happen because you're going to be in that space of, "I hope this gets done." That was very much what was going on with my closet over the summer. And the thinking was, "I hope I can find time to do this, and I hope it happens." But hoping is not a planning strategy. It's just wishful thinking.
So the other piece of this, too, with making that strong decision and thinking about the when, what, and how, is if you think it would be helpful, give yourself a backup plan. So maybe you're deciding to do something this week, and you're going to do it at this time or this day, and you also know that there's multiple things going on in a project, and you might need to do an additional site visit. But you still want to stay committed to your strong decision. So that's where you can have a backup plan of, "All right, if this doesn't happen, then it will happen at this time, or if this obstacle arises, this is how I'm going to solve for it."
Now, a quick note here. Make sure that in making these strong decisions and creating plans, you are not giving yourself the false sense of productivity and moving forward from repeated list-making, repeated planning, and repeated talking about the thing. Because when you make the list, you put it on your calendar, you tell everyone you're doing it, you have kind of this feeling of, "Yes, it's happening."
And that's true, that's an essential part of the step of making a strong decision. And we want to make sure that we're not consistently making a list and planning it out and thinking that's actually getting us closer. So there is this subtle distinction of we're going to have a plan, we're going to have a backup plan, and we're also not going to allow ourselves to get stuck in procrastination disguised as productivity.
To give you an example from my closet project, like I said, I was wanting to avoid decisions. I was definitely having some storylines around, "This is going to take so much time, too." So I took a step back in terms of how am I going to actually make this happen? And I broke it down so that way it was super, super simple and easy. And I didn't have to have three hours ahead of me of free time.
And I'll do this with projects that I'm implementing in my business. It's one of the things that I teach in To-Do to Done, which is a program I ran last year. I work with my clients in terms of planning their days this way. But we want to break things down so that they're simple, they're doable, and you're not counting on having huge, huge, uninterrupted swaths of time in order to accomplish something.
So with the closet, I was going basically by sets of drawers, and then there were sections of hangers that I was looking at, and categories of clothes that I was looking at. And it just made it so much more approachable. So just so you all know, today I'm trying on my jeans, which I have a lot of resistance to, but I know it's going to be great once it's done.
Which brings me back to the last piece of this. And I really do think this one is key in terms of getting yourself in motion. And this one is, be more focused on the later feeling than the now feeling. Our brains are really good at assessing our current state of being, our emotional state that we're in right now, as a permanent state of being. And we basically forget that our emotions are fluid.
Just because we feel burdened or bogged down now doesn't mean we're going to feel that way in a little bit. Just because we feel on top of the world doesn't mean we're going to feel that way in a little bit. Our emotions can be fluid, and they can change quite quickly. But when we're in these avoidance procrastination cycles, we are overly focused on the negative emotion we're experiencing in the present and don't at all give the airtime to how amazing it's going to feel in the future when this thing is done.
And the other thing that I think is really important to remember here is often, even if procrastination can kind of sneakily feel good or like relief because you're avoiding the thing for at least a little while, there is often a negative emotional backlash that you'll create for yourself as you put something off that you knew you're breaking a commitment to yourself. And that does not feel good either.
So we just want to be honest, it's discomfort either way. And one of those types of discomfort is going to help you move forward; one of them is going to just keep you spinning in the same spot. So just because you feel resistance, dread, maybe antsy, maybe anxiety in this moment, that doesn't mean you're going to feel that way later. And I really encourage you to notice when you're having these experiences and pause and remind yourself that you will not feel that way forever. Gosh, could that be a lesson for every difficult thing, not just a task you're trying to get off your to-do list.
What you're forgetting though, is that you're probably going to feel great when this thing is in progress. Oh my gosh, think about just taking that first step, how amazing that feels. Or when it's complete. So what I really want you to remember here is feelings are fluid, they're not final.
So don't buy into when you're looking at your list and going, "I have to do this thing, and I don't want to do it, and I feel awful." Remember, you have a way out of that. So instead of allowing yourself to swirl in the unpleasant experience of anticipating the thing you've been putting off, you need to put yourself in a future state of mind. That's the now feeling.
This is something I have to do a lot in my business when I'm thinking of doing something that feels vulnerable, a stretch, and it definitely comes up anytime my assistant wants me to review something, and I don't feel like doing details. And in my closet, I've got those hang-ups I've already told you about. I'm going to cultivate that later feeling for myself through picturing my future self. I'm going to picture myself opening those drawers with ease, seeing exactly what I need to find in there, bringing things off the hangers with the clarity of what I want to wear, and how much more simple decisions will be getting dressed when I have what I need. I am imagining how great it's going to feel when the thing is done.
For you, those emotions might be something like proud or accomplished. Maybe there is a little bit of relief, or you feel grounded in, "Yeah, this is behind me and now I can move forward." For me, that one feels a lot like, "Okay, I can finally move on with my life." It's got some lightness to it. Of course, you don't have to wait for the thing to be done to actually experience these emotions because we can create that for ourselves coming from our thoughts. The way that I want you to remember this one, and maybe even you can put it on a Post-it by your desk so you can remember it, is now and later feelings.
In the intro, I mentioned a candy store. And when we were coming back this summer from a swim meet, we stopped at Minnesota's largest candy store. And let me tell you, it was really big. And there were all of these candies that I had not seen in a very long time, including Now and Later. I don't know who remembers that. I feel like I have not seen that at Target or wherever we tend to get some candy.
So, picture those square Now and Laters. They're like a Starburst, but the square is bigger. And remember that candy, the Now and Later. I am not going to feel how I feel now forever, and I can generate the feelings that I want to feel later about this task right now. And I'm going to focus on how amazing it's going to be to have this thing done and not allow myself to swirl in whatever it is that my brain's telling me I can't get out of, and that is so awful in the present.
I cannot tell you how motivating it is to take something that you've been dragging around like a ball and chain and go, "All right, I'm going to focus on the later. How incredible this is going to feel, how accomplished I'm going to feel." And I'm going to remember that now, whatever I'm feeling, it's just temporary. You're going to be able to get so much more done with so much more ease and do it more joyfully instead of having to get to that point where you have to sort of shove yourself over the edge and force yourself into action.
And the beautiful part about this, too, is that when we take action from a positive state of mind, we get better outcomes. With the way that the brain works, when we have positive emotion fueling our actions, we just take higher-quality action. It is true. And so not only do you get to feel better, you're going to do better too.
To give you a quick recap, this is how it goes. Before you do anything, ask yourself, "Do I actually find this important and do I see why it's important to me?" If you don't, forget it. Second is get clear on why you don't want to do the thing and be honest with yourself. Be radically honest. Then you're going to make a strong decision about what, when, and how you are going to get this thing off your list. And then the fourth thing, which is, I really think the most important thing for you to tune into here, is focus on the now and later feelings and tapping into the later more than anything else.
If this episode hit home, I definitely want you to go back in the feed and listen to episode 35. It's called "The Later Habit." It is a listener favorite. And when I say the later habit, it's as in, "I'll do it later." Because we often forget to question our assumptions that it's going to be easier to do it later, or we're going to actually want to do it later, as a way to delay our actions. And typically, spoiler alert, you don't feel like doing it later. Definitely talking to my sixth grader about that one as we continue to navigate more and more homework.
So my homework for you right now is to decide what is a simple, small task. I think starting small is the best way to practice this, that you can use this episode for to get that thing done this week. Get it crossed off the list and get it off your mind.
I'm going to be back next week with a brand new episode, and in the meantime, I would so appreciate it if you would subscribe to the show and write a review or share it with a friend. All three of those things really help me get this podcast out to the designers who need it.
And as a reminder, I still have a few one-on-one strategy sessions available that you can book through desicreswell.com/resources. And that is where we can take whatever it is that you are struggling with and do a deep dive into that particular issue. We get the coaching started before we even meet when I customize prompts for you to get the pot stirred, as I sometimes say, and bring what really needs to be addressed to the surface. And then we meet on Zoom where you have my undivided attention, and we can really focus on you and what your business needs. And then, of course, if there's anything additional that you need for support, I'm able to provide that following our call.
I'd love to connect with you either through the podcast by leaving that rating and review or by hopefully talking to you live through a strategy session. And as always, I'm wishing you a beautiful week.
Thanks for joining me for this week's episode of The Interior Design Business CEO. If you want more tips, tools and strategies visit DesiCreswell.com, where you’ll get immediate access to a variety of free resources to help you take what you learn on the podcast and put it into action. And if you love what you’re hearing, be sure to rate, review, and follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts to ensure you never miss an episode. I’ll talk to you next week.
Enjoy the Show?
Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube Music.
Previous
Previous
155. Inside My Business: Decision-Making, Priorities, and Podcast Changes
Next
Next